literature

Pickled

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Literature Text

The clinic was empty for the day.  Heaving a sigh of relief, Anders began to take stock of his supplies, humming a catchy tune under his breath.  He began to sway his body in time with the tune, dancing around the clinic as he began to sing the lyrics softly.

Sticking to the shadows, Varric watched the show with barely disguised amusement.  Not quite catching the words, he snuck in a bit further, his eyes widening and swallowing down the laugh that it took every ounce of strength to keep from letting escape.   He rushed out of the clinic and back to the Hanged Man in record time, yanking Hawke and Isabela out of their chairs and interrupting their game of Wicked Grace.

"You have got to see this!  Hopefully the show isn't over by the time we get there," Varric laughed, rushing back out of the tavern with Isabela and Hawke following closely on his heels, exchanging confused glances and shrugs between each other.  By the time they reached the clinic, Anders was in a fine state, singing the drinking song in a pleasant baritone, loud enough that anyone within earshot of the door could hear.

"Wasn't so fickle, fickle with my pickle
As fickle as I am today
Nothing like a wiggle & a tickle of your pickle
Especially when you're pickled all day

Pickled in the morning
Pickled through the day
Well you might do right by doin' somethin' pickled
So don't put gettin' pickled down

Slaver doon yer mickle for a wiggle & a jiggle
So's the tickle in your pickle will stay
But if you get a trickle
From a wiggle & a jiggle
It's off to the clinic that day

Pickled in the morning
Pickled through the day
Well you might do right by doin' somethin' pickled
So don't put gettin' pickled down

Pickled in the moonlight, pickled as the sun comes 'round
Well you might do right by doin' somethin' pickled
So don't put gettin' pickled down!"


Isabela covered her mouth to stifle the laugh that threatened to escape as her eyes raked over the toned and muscled body of the raven haired berserker warrior standing beside her.  He winked at her, catching her gaze.

"Damn, Hawke, what did you do to our mage last night?" she grinned.  "And can I have a go round?"

"None of your business and no," he laughed softly.  Waving the others away, he was surprised at how easy it was to sneak in behind his lover though Anders was quite engrossed in his enjoyment of the song.  Resting his chin on the mage's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around the man's waist, he nipped at the earlobe within his reach.

"Sounds as if you enjoyed yourself last night.  Care for a repeat performance?" his voice was husky.

Anders almost shot out of Hawke's arms, so completely was he startled, then relaxed as he recognized the strength surrounding him.  Grinning at what his love said, he turned in the man's arms and plastered himself against the warrior's body.

"Is now too soon?"

"Lock and bar the door so Isabela can't sneak in and I'll wait for you in the back."

Whistling the tune, Anders did as requested before rushing back to where Hawke waited.
I blame :iconmaterfae: for this! Granted, I sent her a link to the song "Pickled" by The Real McKenzies (lyrics used in the story) and she's all "OMG because of the line 'It's off to the clinic that day' I could so see Anders singing this!" My fault was then getting that picture in my head and telling her that what would be funnier, due to the lyrics, was if it was a male Hawke who was romancing him when he decided to sing this. Ergo, story was born.

Hope you laugh as hard as she and I did at the story. Feel free to check this link out if you want to hear the actual song. NSFW though due to language as it was recorded in a club and there is chatter before the song starts. [link]

Anders, Isabela, and Varric are (c) BioWare.

Pickled lyrics by The Real McKenzies
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asheraa's avatar
Bahahaha! *nearly chokes self trying not to wake up housemate by howling with laughter* I snorted beer... Ooooh, awesome mental image! Love it :D